Fairy, Zombie, or Hero?

TL;DR: Zombies get only dark fiction, fairies only light fiction, heroes all. Scroll down, select what you are, and stop getting e-mails you don't care about.

Long version: I always hated Whitman for saying it, but “I am huge; I contain multitudes.” (He and I go to the same “Cannibalistic Weight Watchers” support group) Point being, I WRITE MANY OPPOSITE THINGS AND YOU MAY NOT LIKE THEM ALL. This question helps me decide which new releases actually matter to you so I don’t bother you with stuff that won’t. So tell me, are you one of my…

FAIRIES (Light):

You love innocence, quirk, trust—pixie dust! All the tingly silly weirdness with no more darkness than Spiderman: Homecoming, or Peter Pan (the original book by J.M. Barrie). You still enjoy picture books. You can read Narnia and enjoy animated superheroes. You abstain from Deadpool because he’s so crass. 

ZOMBIES (Dark):

You like big brains and you can not lie: sex, drugs, and rock and roll do not scare you. Dark and real, you’re more Perelandra, That Hideous Strength, or even Lovecraft or Poe than you are Narnia. Virtue or intelligence trump innocence. You don’t read picture books. You may or may not abstain from Deadpool. 

HEROES (Everything):

You know darkness shows us light; you understand Paradoxes, so you can stomach murder, gore, and utter mental brokenness, but you still know how to read a picture book and weep. You don’t just crave innocence: you would wade through the most devastated hell to protect it. You are Deadpool.

Thanks for letting me know what you are in the buttons below!

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